In the world of online dating, that is exactly what you do. You get online. You date. Obviously.
Not only have I come away from these years of online dating without a boyfriend (not a cry for help) but I find it pretty disappointing that through all of these flighting encounters I’ve not gained any new friends. It seems to be as simple as if I don’t want to date you, I don’t want to know you.
Now, I don’t know about anyone else, but I think that’s fucked up.
WHY, when we meet someone irl, WHY are we already trying to work out if we want to date this person. When Nokia 3310’s were still all the rage and group chats were still mainly things that happened in pubs, my boyfriends weren’t INSTANTLY my boyfriends and I didn’t even think of dating them until we had hung out a bunch of times, maybe lent each other some DVD’s and in all honesty, not until we’d drunkenly shared a sofa and a McDonalds breakfast.
Granted, this was a different era, but it still seems quite sensible to me to spend a good amount of time with someone before deciding what they are, who they are and what role (if any) they’re going to play in your life.
Personally, I’d like to see a change in dating. I’d like to meet someone without the goal being a relationship. I’d like to just see. LETS JUST SEE.
I met a man this week for a coffee date. It went well, I found him charismatic, charming and funny and without wanting to pressure this, I suggested that we should hang out again “even if not in a date way”, as we enjoyed each others company. This is the first time I’ve tried this and genuinely it was a little scary to send. I’m not implying that I don’t like him romantically, I just don’t know yet. He doesn’t know yet. IT’S OKAY NOT TO KNOW YET.
LETS. JUST. SEE.