Sounds stupid doesn’t it. If you’re not successfully doing something, it’s usually a good idea to look into it a little harder, see what others say and take on some advice. However, I don’t think that’s the case with dating.
I’ve read A LOT of dating blogs. Must do/musn’t do lists, 10 reasons you’re doing it wrong, 10 reasons you’re choosing the wrong men, 10 things you shouldn’t say on a first date, a million things you shouldn’t ask ETC ETC ETFC. I think they’re all a crock.
You shouldn’t talk about politics on a first date – Oh fucking shouldn’t I. If conversation is flowing well and I feel like establishing if someones fundamental views of the world are in line with mine, I think that’s okay.
You shouldn’t talk about dating on a first date – Now, I’m not going to bang on about past relationships or bowl a potential date over with terrible tales of the past, but I think honesty about dating isn’t a terrible thing to share.
You shouldn’t talk about.. The problem I have with all of these pieces of advice is that I don’t want to be dating within some invented guidelines. Sitting down with another person and having an honest, fun and enjoyable conversation is much more up my street and I think it’s a much more genuine experience.
Without question, my absolute favourite branch of these articles is the “maybe it’s you”. Maybe why you’re finding dating difficult is because you are the problem. Maybe you need to change. Maybe you’re not dateable.
Unsurprisingly, I disagree. Whilst they’re right in that it probably IS me, but that isn’t a problem. I’m not looking to change myself into someone with a more generic appeal. I sometimes swear on dates. I’m bad at intentional flirting. I don’t have ANY game. I’m honest to a fault. BUT I’m not trying to pretend that isn’t me, to con someone into a second date or even a relationship.
I think as long as you can somehow get over the nerves of a first date, it’s not about playing a game. It’s about trying to feel comfortable enough to be who you are and I’d definitely appreciate that from my date also. It’s not appealing when a guy has predetermined, deliberate and decisive moves.
I just want to hear those 7 little words. “You’re a dick, but I like you”